


the heart it races

by supaprittiest



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 02:11:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18174461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supaprittiest/pseuds/supaprittiest
Summary: Clarke left Polis without saying goodbye. When she returns, will she be welcomed as a friend or punished as an enemy?





	1. Chapter 1

It had been months since Clarke had seen Lexa. It was agonizing to tear herself away from the woman she had grown so fond of, but once separated, it was easy for Clarke to throw herself into the familiar role of leading her people. Thoughts of Lexa strayed farther and farther from her mind, and if it wasn’t for the blockade around Arkadia, she probably could ignore her existence all together. 

 

Nevertheless, the blockade stood strong, even months after the army had been deployed. Pike hadn’t yet been overthrown, but progress was being made in undermining his authority. The people were getting antsy and agitated, and Clarke could sense the threat of a civil war on the horizon. And with the fighters riled up already, the grounders could easily become collateral damage. Relations with the grounders were still fragile, and Clarke was scared of what would happen if things took a turn for the worse. She didn’t need more of her own people getting hurt, let alone the possibility of Lexa getting hurt- though the odds of it happening were slim to none. 

 

So when Clarke informed her mother that she was going to sneak into Polis, there was little to no hesitation, much to Clarke’s surprise (and frustration- she had spent hours building her case for nothing). She packed a first aid kit and enough food to last her the two day journey, and quietly slipped out of the camp without a word to anyone. If people knew that Clarke was informing the enemy of the imminent threat, she’d be tried for treason, and with Pike and his dwindling gang of supporters running the place to the ground, even the suspicion of treason meant a certain death sentence. 

 

Being acutely aware of the grounders’ unparalleled prowess in the forest, Clarke tried to avoid it as much as possible, using it only as cover to initially get around the blockade. She slicked her hair back with mud to make it less eye catching. The grounders still had mixed feelings about her, so she was sure they wouldn’t hesitate at the chance to kill her and finally get Skaikru out of the coalition. 

 

They didn’t have enough soldiers to make a perfect circle around the camp, so by slipping out a hole in the back wall (of her own creation), she was able to sneak past them and avoid detection. Though the rest of the journey would be significantly easier, she knew better than to let her guard down. The journey would take two days on foot, but sleeping in grounder territory would be too dangerous without someone to keep watch. What she wouldn’t do for a horse!

 

Out of the woods, her surroundings consisted of vast open fields which narrowed down to a rocky cliffside, before the trail disappeared into a thick redwood forest. For today, Clarke would have little to no coverage as she tried to cross the meadow, and to make matters worse, the shift change for the blockade could happen at any moment. Rather than sending everyone home at once and leaving the border vulnerable, soldiers were replaced one at a time, which meant lots of grounders would be crossing the meadow as well. It was a horrible risk to take, but Clarke refused to let her people mercilessly attack Lexa’s again without reason. 

 

It was harrowing work, but Clarke had no choice but to crawl through the tall grass to avoid detection. It would add hours onto her journey. When the grass started to thin out into shorter blades poking out through a bed of gravel, she was relieved. She couldn’t feel the now familiar sensation of hoofbeats on the ground, meaning that no one was coming or going. She was free to walk normally at last. Her knees and palms were scraped up pretty badly, so she was grateful for the first aid kit she had brought with her. 

 

Turning around to look at the progress she had made, the blockade looked just like dots on the horizon. She couldn’t even see Arkadia. Satisfied with the distance between them, she continued on her journey on foot. Though she was exhausting, she still had a bounce in her step due to the sheer relief of just not having to crawl anymore. She surveyed her options for moving forward. The level surface of the cliff would be the fastest, but there were too many blind corners and too few hiding places. She had no choice but to walk on the uneven slope of the hill, moving from tree to boulder to bush and so on, in case anyone was coming. She watched a couple grounders ride along on their way to join the blockade, but luckily, they didn’t spot her. 

 

It was dark before Clarke was even halfway across the cliffside. Her whole body ached and all she wanted to do was lay down and sleep, even on the cold sharp gravel, but she had sworn she wouldn’t sleep in grounder territory unprotected. To make matters worse, she couldn’t see the road ahead of her, resulting not only in some noisy slips, but it also meant she wouldn’t be able to see anyone coming. She had to rely purely on sound to navigate to the other side of the cliff. It was so much easier to sneak through the territory when she wasn’t in such a hurry. She could afford to make a secluded shelter for the night, to wait out poor conditions. 

 

When she started seeing the thick trunks of the redwood trees, she scrambled up the cliff onto a more level surface. This was the longest stretch of the journey, and she was much more susceptible to losing her way, but it also offered the most coverage and gave her the strongest odds of making it to Polis if she could just avoid the Trikru people lingering among the trees. 

 

She finally allowed herself a moment to slump against a tree and tend her wounds. She had accumulated more scrapes on the cliff, and she needed to make sure nothing got infected. She poured a healthy dose of disinfectant on the open wounds, hissing at the sting that followed. As it subsided, she decided to satiate her angry body with some of the rations she had brought along with her. Some berries and nuts, just enough to quiet her stomach. And then she was back on her feet, weaving through the trees and hoping that she was staying on course. 

 

As she walked, she wondered what to expect from seeing Lexa after all this time. Things were in an awkward spot between them when she had left without saying good bye all those months ago. She wanted to, but Octavia insisted that they get a head start. Determined to be there for her people, Clarke agreed to quietly sneak away with Octavia, but never stopped thinking about what could’ve happened if she had stayed on the other side of things. She wondered if Lexa would still welcome her inside Polis despite the blockade, or if she would treat her the way she would any other Skaikru person. Suddenly she started to feel like this wasn’t the best idea. 

 

She hadn’t made it this far to just give up though, and so she pressed on as the sun rose through the trees. She’d be at Polis by the early afternoon, much to her relief. It would be peak market hours at that point, so she’d be able to slip through the masses unnoticed even without the mud in her hair, which was dry and crusted now. So at the next river, Clarke indulged herself by stripping down and wading into the frigid water, only as far out as she could still touch the bottom. Lexa had offered to teach her to swim, but never got around to it. 

 

It was nice to rinse off months of dirt and grime. She hadn’t realized how filthy she really was until she watched the dirt cloud the water around her. Finally, she dunked her head under water and scrubbed her scalp soothingly until she couldn’t feel anymore dirt in it. When she came back up for air, she felt completely refreshed and invigorated, a feeling which was much needed due to her lack of sleep. She climbed out of the river and got dressed before setting out for the rest of her hike. 

 

She could hear the sounds of the Polis market before she could see it. She couldn’t believe she had made it through the whole forest without running into anyone! The months she had spent on the run hadn’t been a waste after all. As she drew closer, the smell of delicious soups and cured meats wafted towards her, making her stomach growl. She couldn’t buy anything without being identified, so she opted for one of the snack bars she had brought with her. It was dry and bland compared to the variety of indulgences she had been treated to during her stay at Polis, but it was enough to satiate her stomach for the time being. 

 

On the edge of the market, she climbed a tree to figure out just how she was going to get into the tower without being outed. At noon, the tower was opened to the public for them to consult with advisors. That would be her window of opportunity to get in. The market was already busy, she could safely enter now. She scrambled down from the tree branch she was perched on, hitting the ground with a heavy thud, and approached the market confidently. 

 

She couldn’t believe her luck, until a deadly grip on the back of her shirt yanked her back into the forest. 


	2. Chapter 2

“What do you think you’re doing?” the voice growled. Clarke fell and hit the ground on her back, her head spinning from the impact. It took a second for the world above her to stop spinning, to regard her assailant properly. 

 

“I need to see Lexa,” she croaked desperately. The figure above her was hooded, wearing thick, dark war paint which emphasized the shadows cast on their face, further concealing it from recognition. They pressed their foot into Clarke’s shoulder, keeping her in place. 

 

“What for?” they pressed suspiciously. 

 

“I need to warn her about something I saw the other day,” Clarke explained, being careful not to give away too many details. As much as she didn’t want the grounders getting hurt, she also didn’t want to fuel the fight against her own people. 

 

“Why didn’t you just report it to the blockade around your camp?” they argued.

 

“Because they- wait, how did you know I’m from Arkadia?” Clarke asked, struggling against the pressure on her shoulder and trying to sit up to no avail. The grounder paused for a moment, caught off guard by the question. 

 

“Who wouldn’t recognize Wanheda pinned to the ground beneath them? Many of us dream of this opportunity,” the person pointed out. Clarke huffed, and settled back down on the ground. 

 

“Well, are you gonna kill me then? Or are you gonna let me help your people by informing the commander of this danger that threatens you all?” Clarke asked. Again, the grounder paused. 

 

“I’ll take you to her,” they relented after weighing their options. They tore off a section of cloth from their sleeve and wrapped it around Clarke’s eyes, knotting it behind her head.

 

“You know I’ve been inside Polis, right? Blindfolding me is kinda pointless,” Clarke pointed out, earning her a knee kicked firmly into her back. She clenched her jaw and hissed in pain. “Okay, okay, you’re the boss.” 

 

“I need to make it look like you’re an actual prisoner, so we don’t both get in trouble,” the grounder insisted. She felt silly that she hadn’t thought of that. “Don’t act like this meeting is on your terms. I’m doing you a favour by leading you into Polis. Start acting like it.” 

 

Clarke stumbled to her feet, and instantly her hands were bound behind her back. When the grounder pressed between her shoulders, she started walking. She was extremely worried about tripping on a tree root or a hole in the ground, but had no choice but to trust the stranger guiding her. She couldn’t help but think back to when Roan brought her to Lexa the first time, and how well Lexa had taken care of her back then. She wished she had been more accepting of her help back then. 

 

The sounds of the market grew louder and the smells grew stronger. She could feel the air move around her as people brushed past in all directions, but luckily, whoever was guiding her seemed to have some experience with it. Not once did she bump into anyone, or trip on anything. Suddenly they stopped. 

 

“What’s this?” a gruff voice asked from ahead of her, likely a guard. “Wanheda?”

 

“A prisoner,” the voice corrected. “Let us through, Titus.”

 

Clarke tensed at the mention of Lexa’s advisor. She had never gotten along with him, and was acutely aware of his distaste for her. When he didn’t reply to the grounder’s request, Clarke assumed that he was getting ready to kill her on the spot- an opportunity he had likely been waiting for from the day he met her. However, much to her surprise, the hand on her back pushed her forward. 

 

Inside the tower it was much cooler and darker than it was outside, and the hairs on Clarke’s arms raised at the difference in atmosphere. 

 

“We’re gonna have to take the stairs, get ready,” the voice informed her. Clarke stumbled on the first step, and would’ve fallen forward if it wasn’t for her captor’s iron grip on her bound wrists. 

 

“You couldn’t have given me more of a heads up?” Clarke muttered.

 

“Don’t talk back to me,” the voice replied, pushing her forward again. Clarke quickly felt the area around her with her right foot to get accustomed to the difference between steps, and was soon able to adjust to the challenge. It felt like they had climbed the entire tower before they finally reached a level floor. 

 

Clarke’s captor threw her forward, causing her to nearly fall. Clarke clenched her jaw with distaste. She heard a door close behind her.

 

“I’m doing you a favour too by warning the commander about this, you know,” Clarke pointed out, at her wits end with the rough treatment. “I’m just trying to help you and your people.”

 

Suddenly, the blindfold was ripped off. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the harsh light of the room, especially with her head still buzzing from being kicked down earlier. It was easy for her to think her mind was playing tricks on her when she saw who had been pushing her around for the past hour. 

 

“Lexa?” Clarke asked, her eyes wide with disbelief. She had seen a ruthless side of the commander, but had never expected to be on the receiving end of anything remotely close to it. “Why did you- why didn’t you just tell me it was you?”

 

“Why didn’t you recognize me?” Lexa countered, crossing her arms. Without her hood she seemed less menacing, but the war paint was definitely concealing the childlike face that Clarke had grown to associate with the commander. 

 

“Well, you probably gave me a concussion from throwing me around for the past hour,” Clarke pointed out. “What was that about? I thought we were-”

 

She wasn’t able to finish her sentence. She wasn’t really sure  _ what  _ they were. Friends? Allies? There didn’t seem to be a word to encapsulate the intimacies of their relationship while also maintaining the distance between them. 

 

“I did too,” Lexa replied tensely. “And then you left without even saying goodbye.” 

 

Her words hurt more than the past hour of being pushed and prodded and kicked, and stung more the scrapes on her knees and hands. Clarke knew she had handled that situation poorly, but at the time there didn’t seem like there was a way to make everyone happy.

 

“Octavia made me do it,” Clarke insisted, approaching Lexa apprehensively. Lexa stepped back, maintaining her cold front. 

 

“Octavia is one of  _ your  _ people, is she not?” Lexa insisted. “Or do you answer to her?”

 

“It’s complicated,” Clarke admitted. “A lot of my people don’t support me right now. I need Octavia’s support to get theirs, and if I had stayed any longer I would’ve lost what little I had left of Octavia’s respect.”

 

“And why is that?” Lexa pressed. 

 

“Because... do I really need to spell it out for you?” Clarke insisted, getting flustered. Lexa narrowed her eyes slightly, prompting her to continue. Clarke sighed. “I  _ wanted _ to stay with you. I wanted to represent my people among their biggest perceived enemy, I honestly thought it would help them. But they wouldn’t see it that way, and Octavia reminded me of that.” 

 

For the first time since she’d gotten there, she saw a glimpse of the Lexa she had gotten to know so intimately. Her eyes softened and if it wasn’t for the black paint that covered half her face, she’d probably look gentle. She dared to take a step closer to her, and this time, Lexa didn’t back away. 

 

“It wasn’t personal,” Clarke assured, reaching out to grasp Lexa’s arms, pulling them apart to uncross them. She smiled a little. “I made this decision with my head, and not my heart.”

 

Lexa smiled sadly at that, looking down at where Clarke was still holding her arms. 

 

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Lexa said. There was a weight to her words that indicated that she was talking about more than just kicking her down a couple times on their way to the tower. 

 

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too,” Clarke replied softly. Another pause came between them, but there was a magnetic pull drawing them together, and all Clarke could see was how Lexa’s plush lips were parted ever so slightly, their fingers tangling together on their own-

 

A knock on the door abruptly sliced through the intimacy of the moment. The wild look returned to Lexa’s eyes, and she ripped her hands away. 

 

“You have to hide. No one can know you’re here,” Lexa insisted urgently. Clarke ducked behind the spindly throne- not the best hiding place, but enough to buy her some time to find something better if necessary. 

 

“Titus, what is it?” Lexa demanded. Clarke rolled her eyes. Lexa’s advisor sure had a knack for interrupting them- surely no accident either. 

 

“What have you done with Wanheda?” he asked. “You must respect the terms of the blockade, if she was caught trespassing-” 

 

“Then I would carry out my duty,” Lexa assured defensively. “Or do you doubt me?” 

 

“Of course not Heda, I just know that you have feelings for her, and-”

 

“I’m not having this discussion again. If you must know, I’ve taken her as a prisoner until I can decide what to do with her,” Lexa explained. For once, Clarke wished that Lexa would’ve let Titus elaborate on the extent of her feelings for her. “I can’t just kill the leader of Skaikru when their successor is responsible for the mass murder of our people. This isn’t as simple as you’d think, so just stay out of it.” 

 

Titus paused, and even Clarke could feel the tension between the two of them without being a part of the conversation. She appreciated Lexa sticking up for her, but couldn’t help but wonder why she even bothered to keep the old hag around when she showed such a clear distaste for him. 

 

“Very well, Heda,” he relented. “I trust that you’re making the right decision for our people.”

 

“I am.”


End file.
